9-5-12

Geen zin om te schrijven over m'n dag. Geen zin om normaal te schrijven ook en terug te keren naar de realiteit. Ik zit in m'n fantasie, m'n psychose? Ik heb geen drugs nodig om high te zijn of stoned. All I gotta do is think..

How I love the sky, how I love the world when I am completely alone and still afraid of the monsterous humans that might come and get me. How I love the deep thoughts and the floating. Nothing wrong, nothing. No feelings, just numbness. Light as a feather. Unoticable, because it's dark and anyone's asleep. No danger, only fear of it even when I'm free of it.

I'm like a ghost now. Just my thoughts excist. All the rest of me, my body, is gone. I am higher now. I fly above it all. I am better, not worse. I am not good enough, I am in a state of perfection. I have no humanity, I have no body. I have only what seperates you from me. My soul? However you call it. I'm alone. I alone am in this state now. I alone am flying fro real. I experience this alone. They call it psychoses, paranoia and such. I call it my reason of living. I live to feel this energy, this fear, this adrenline and this anything.

There's nothing and no-one who can harm me when I'm here. I can only be disturbed. I can be awaken. That's another reason to embrace death. When I take the life of this human body I can stay in my world forever. Problem stays the humans that are attached to me won't let me go, as well as the comunity today. To scared to kill the black sheeps and too foolish to see the good things about being a black sheep.

There is no world like this. There are no alien forms close to us humans. We were a mistake of nature. We are a time-bomb. We are nature's suicide attempt and it's working so far. If only more would see.. if only...

Goodnight phokes. I'm going to sleep to dream of this. I'm going to sleep to wake u tomorrow and be human again. I don't want to sleep though. I want to stay here. I want to be in this state forever as soon as possible.

M'n gewicht weet ik niet, nu niet. Vanmorgenwas 59,4 kg. Aangekomen dus en best veel. Geen zin om erover na te denken. Veel gegeten vandaag ook. Pannenkoeken (2 x 200 kcal) en friet gehaald en een snack.. >.<. Moet ik nog meer zeggen?

Weltrusten mensen. Morgen misschien weer wat meer schrijven. I'm losing my touch with writing here. Jammer.. Maar I'll be back!